The Hampton Roads debut of Cuff Me: The Unauthorized Fifty Shades of Grey Musical Parody is just days away! Do you have your tickets yet... Shame on you if you haven't.
Fot those of you still on the fence, here's what's being said about Cuff Me.
"the show is silly fun" -NY Post
"A hilarious send up of EL James' best selling erotic romance." -Single Gal in the City
"appropriately inappropriate" -Laters Baby (50 Shades Fan Site)
"spankingly good, and a surefire hit" -Booktopia
"an entertaining and amusing show that inspired a great deal of laughter" -CareyPurcell.com
There's still time to get tickets!
Cuff Me: The Unauthorized Fifty Shades of Grey Musical Parody
3 Performances at The NorVa
Saturday, May 25th at 5pm & 8pm
Sunday, May 26th at 3pm
Tickets are $35 - $55 and are available at Ticketmaster.com
Top Ten Most Erotic Places In Hampton Roads
(according to Brad)
10. I once made love to a beautiful, crazy, thespian on the stage at University Theater at Old Dominion. (Best Performance I ever gave in my college acting career.)
9. I lost my virginity on 69th street at Virginia Beach. I rode my bike down to 69th street a boy, I rode home a man. (Best 18 seconds of that Portsmouth lass' life.)
8. Sitting in rush hour traffic at the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel, I once got "road mouth." The man in the car next to me kept giving me a thumbs up. (Only time I didn't mind that tunnel.)
7. I once made passionate love on The Elizabeth River Ferry. (Nothing says romance like the Elizabeth River.)
6. I once got "hand love" from an Asian girl during my French class at TCC Portsmouth campus. (Oui, she was a keeper.)
5. I once made love to a complicated lass on the 12th floor stairs of The Marriot Norfolk. (Our knees were killing us when we returned to the dress up banquet.)
4. Mount Trashmore was the sight where I took a young flower once. We mad missionary love on the top of the mighty mountain. (We didn't bring a towel so we both had chiggers and grass stains.)
3. The Boathouse while watching The Connels concert was where I learned about third base in the telephone booth with a big brown-eyed lass. Ah... (That time in my life was all "Fun and Games.")
2. Busch Gardens was the sight where I expressed my love "digitally" on the gondola that carries you from country to country. (It was then I figured out that I love to travel.)
1. It was Harborfest on the Portsmouth (God's Country) side. She was 13, I was 13. We met eyes, we closed eyes. She leaned in, I leaned in. I felt her breath on me, fireworks exploded, and we clanked teeth. It was painful and I thought I lost a tooth. (Oddly enough that was my favorite sexual experience of my life.)
10. If you wake up next to a naked girl and a naked guy... put down the bourbon.
9. If your idea of dinner is the complimentary peanuts at the bar... put down the gin.
8. If you consider masterbating in your car a "good sexual experience"... put down the whiskey.
7. If you wake up with black eyes, hickeys, and a dog that isn't yours... put down the sambuka.
6. If you have to say sorry again to everyone for urinating on your friend's birthday cake... put down the rum.
5. If you feel like you are a "excellent drunk driver"... it's time to put down your stupidity.
4. If six, of your last seven, sexual experiences ended with you having whiskey dick... it may be time to put down the fireball shots.
3. If you are constantly drunk texting old, high school girlfriends asking "do you want to have phone sex"... it may be time to put down the vodka.
2. If you think you have a real shot at dating "Chasity" from RC's Go-Go... put down the Irish Car Bombs and your money.
1. If you've been to Bugattis or P.J.'s Nineteenth Hole more than one time in your life... put down the scotch and your dignity.
It's our favorite time of the year!!! A chance to see what our talented gang improvisers have been up to all winter long.
We have 3 great shows for you...
An Evening with Harold and Harold Junior
(the 202's and 303's)
Wednesday, May 8th at The Iguana
7pm . Totally Free
The Pushers' 202 level improv students jump head first into the wonderful world of Harold in what we like to call... Harold Junior. While the 303s and friends take the Harold head on!
Mr. Harold Goes to Washington
(the 404's and 505's)
Wednesday, May 15th at The Iguana
7pm . Totally Free
The 404's tackle The Harold, perhaps the best know style of long form improv. It starts with an audience suggestion, then improvisers weave together scenes, characters and group games to create a seamless piece. It can be bizzarre and magical, baffling and amazing... it definitely needs to be seen.
Then you're invited to The Town Hall Meeting.
Watch as 505's create a small town and all it's inhabitants right before your eyes. It's like Mayberry, Pawnee and Springfield all rolled into one topped off with a heaping dose of acid.
The Virgin Sketch Show
(the Sketch Writing 101s)
Saturday, June 1st at The Iguana
8pm . $5 (the can't all be free)
The writers of our Sketch Writing Class have been slaving away for months (under our expert and somewhat drunken tutelage)... and they've come up with a kick ass show. Don't miss it, it's going to be hilarous! It's a perfect chance to see some fresh, new comedians.
***Special One Day Workshop***
Using Environment to Bring Improv Scenes to Life
by Alba Woolard
10. If your man tells you how much money he makes, but then makes you pay for dinner... Unfurl the Red Flag.
9. If your lady gets free drinks at every bar you go; and the bartender smiles and says, "You've earned that drink, sweetheart!!!" Unfurl the Red Flag.
8. If your man ever says the words, "Just the tip?!!!!" Unfurl the Red Flag.
7. If your girl tells you she normally is quiet, but then talks for the next 7 hours straight without coming up for air... Unfurl the Red Flag.
6. If your man of steel speaks extremely ill of all his "b#tchy ex-girlfriends," beware you are probably next... Unfurl the Red Flag.
5. If your lady friend says, "oh you don't need protection, I'm a good girl." Unfurl the Red Flag and a Condom.
4. If your new boy toy talks about his Playstation 3 more than your eyes... Unfurl the Red Flag.
3. If your woman checks Ghent Crushes and Facebook for your whole date, she probably cares too much about image... Unfurl the Red Flag.
2. If your mighty man calls his own name out while he makes love... Unfurl the Red Flag and hide your mirrors.
1. If you facebook stalk your new girl and all of her pictures are of her doing body shots, kissing other men (and women), and riding on a donkey naked... Unfurl the Red Flag, get a saddle and ride 'em cowboy!!!!!!!
photo by AltDaily
10. Red Dog- if you are trying to mack on a college girl this is your joint. Just remember frat boys like to fight and college girls are young and often stupid... Get in and then get out...
9. Kelly's Tavern- if you are making it with a smoker this is your jam. Cheap date that could lead to uncomfortable sex in that small A bathroom. Remember your date will smell of nicotine.
8. Colley Cantina- if you have a loud talking girl who doesn't know how to modulate her voice, this is your jam. What I'm saying is it's noisy and your mate will be loud and obnoxious as well.
7. Cogans Pizza- if you want to have a cheap slumming date with a tattooed hipster this is your parlor. The pitchers are cheap and so are the women.... Just remember hipsters smell.
6. Tortilla West- if your girl is a theater chick this is your stage. Go on taco night and remember theater people are obsessed with talking about themselves.(Trust me on this one) Get some ear plugs and enjoy the tacos because you won't enjoy the conversation.
5. A.W. Shucks- if you are trying to meet a mid to upper class Ghentite, this is your mecca. Just remember making out with a girl after they eat a fish taco can lead to an upset stomach. Plus most of the bartenders have been with that girl first.
4. Bardo- if you are looking for an over-priced night with a pretentious girl this is your nirvana. Just remember if you make out with a dooshy girl here your wallet will get smashed and you may not get any.
3. New Belmont- if you want to dance and not have a conversation this is your arena. Groupy rock chicks are fun, but please remember these two words when your with a Belmont chick: Con-dom!
2. 80/20- awesome bar with plenty of hot waitresses. This is a cool
place and very hot right now. Be careful though healthy burgers can lead to healthy flatulence and nothing ruins the mood more than a tooting girl.
1. Public House- if you like pricey beers and trendy chicks, this is your haven. Girls that hang out on the non-smoking side like to eat and girls on the smoking side like talk. Being with a Ghent girl at PH is like a choose your own adventure book so choose wisely and enjoy the cider.
On April 12th and 13th, Better Block will be transforming a block of Granby Street at Olney Road. Come experience a walkable, bikeable district with pop-up businesses, public art, street furniture, landscaping and outdoor cafe seating! Fun for all ages!
5pm Nate Sacks
6pm The Pushers
6:30pm Broken Mouth Annie
7:15pm Gina Dalmas & the Cowtippin' Playboys
8pm The Pushers
9:15 Galaxy Dynamite